I occasionaly get stopped in the street by a guy, giving this talking to girls thing a bash and when they describe how badly they are doing, they go to great lengths about the type of rejection they got and that they are sure this thing doesn’t work. And on bootcamps I get exactly the same thing that this simply doesn’t work after they have only ever done a handful of approaches.

A great way of viewing approaching to see it as opening an envelope to see what is inside. So imagine if you will that there is a 100 envelops around London or which ever place your from and some of them had money inside and the others (The Majority) had just pieces of newspaper and it was your job to find the envelops with money inside.

If you found a few envelops and opened them and only saw newspaper pieces inside, your thought wouldn’t be “This doesn’t work, i’m not opening them in the correct way or i’m selecting the wrong ones” and give up. It would spur you on to open more envelops and the fact that every no leads closer to a yes means you would be even closer to getting a winning envelop.

When you are starting off in game this is the best way to approach approaching. Knowing that there is going to be a girl out there that is going to love it but you just need to approach enough to come across it. Does that mean there is no skill in this and it is merely a numbers game? NO!!! But when you start off most the material you have read will go flying out the window and you will have a million things going through your mind you won’t be able to connect with her as well, so there is more an element of pot luck when you are starting off. That’s why when starting out on a bootcamp after some instruction to just go mental with your approaching so you can get them great references to motivate you to pursue you to carry on when it’s not going your way.

Overtime, it’s actually better to take your foot off the pedal for reasons I will go in to another time, chill and pick your moments but I still have this mindset that I still need to talk to them to find out if they are one or the other.

Enjoy the hustle
Matt Eastwood