Many of my students and many guys that I see doing this stuff really do lack a desire for sex and trying actually date the women.

But they are approaching women aren’t they? Yes but what I see nowadays is mass groups of guys around Oxford Circus taking it in turn to talk to the girls that pass them.

What this tells me, is number 1. This really is just a bit of an escapism for you and that you want to bond with guys over this rather than get with women.

Number 2. You are SO set on not leaving your wings, that you miss opportunities for some great adventures with these women by not Idating them or trying something new.

When I started off, I agree, I loved the cameraderie of me and my 2 new friends roaming around London together having a laugh and measuring each others progress in the form of who was getting the most numbers, who had the most audacious opener, who was getting girls to stop the most, capped off with a British summer it was fun.

My friend Martin was the first to get an idate with a girl, with me and my other wing standing in trafalgar square open mouthed. I now knew it was possible and I too got one the next week, it was awkward and was possibly my first ever sorta date but a cup of tea never tasted as good.

Writing about that know brings it all back to me with a warm glow. But the thing is, is that it doesn’t last. It does indeed have a shelf life. You lose sight of why you actually set out down this road, to meet women. The guys who I consider to be the no hopers arent the ugliest, oldest, baldest guys but it’s the guys treat this as the Saturday afternoon hobby to get good with girls.

Hanging around with 5 other men, sometimes not even talking, or having a laugh, just in a huddle venturing off after girls WONT make you good with women.

The times where I got great success and the wildest stories are when I broke ranks and did my own thing, veering off from my mates to try and take that girl home, spending the day on back to back dates rather than approaching everything. You should aim for it to be just you and the girl as that’s how it will conclude

Just last Saturday, I was out with my housemate doing some approaches, when a Russian woman took my fancy. I knew it was on, my housemate knew it was on and I left with her to go to a boozer with her in the west end before I tried to fuck her behind the back of the national portrait gallery. But if I would of just decided to grab the number and head back, where would that have got me? When you meet a girl-try and take it as far as you literally can.

Back to my main point. Why are you doing this? if it’s really to meet women and have sex be mindful of your actions and spend as much time with women as possible.

Matt Eastwood